Suggestion by "Mr. McMartinson"

September 29, 2005

Product Quality

Wyeth Consumer Healthcare

P.O. Box 26609

Richmond, VA 23261-6609

Dear Wyeth,

I have the worst allergies. Whenever I even think about pollen, I have violent sneezing fits that can last up to 2 (two) U.S. hours. I usually take prescription medication for this, but as of late I can no longer afford the continually rising costs. I was paying upwards of $64,300 for a single bottle containing 65 pills. My pharmacist told me there were hidden charges that he couldn’t tell me about.

Anyway, the other day I purchased a box of Alavert™ Quick-Dissolving Tablets. I quickly dissolved one in my mouth. It worked great! I didn’t sneeze a single time, and I daydreamed of pollen all day. My boss yelled at me for staring at the walls. I work in a yodeling factory.

But to my dismay, your “24-hour” medicine lost its effect just three hours after I took it the next day. I was working in my extremely old, dust-covered basement/asbestos storage facility reorganizing my great-great-great-great grandmother’s Abraham Lincoln figurines, when I sneezed. Imagine that. After I took an Alavert pill, mind you. I am mad at Alavert. It said “allergy relief” explicitly on the box. I interpreted this as, “Alavert will relieve you of your allergies.” Obviously, we differ in opinion. And since my opinion is right, yours is logically wrong.

Due to misinformation on the package, please reimburse me for 1 (one) U.S. box of Alavert Quick-Dissolve Tablets (6 count). Despite the increasingly ridiculous costs of prescription allergy medication, I think I might be switching back to Moxyroxyhepatabutol™ if I don’t hear back from you soon. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Kevin Dickinson

More coupons for my collection! Not that I am going to buy this stuff though.

Home