|
|
|
|
|
December 1, 2005
The Weather Channel 300 Interstate North Parkway Atlanta, GA 30339-2404
Dear Weather Channel,
We need to talk. I am sick and tired of all this crappy weather you’ve been forecasting lately. A few days ago it was the 2nd anniversary of when I found my lucky penny Steven. He has brought me all the luck in the world. I WAS going to go to Six Flags to celebrate, but SOMEBODY had to predict heavy rain all day. Thanks a lot, Weather Channel! Because of you, I was stuck at home drinking the most delectable hot chocolate by a warm fire.
And don’t get me started about all these hurricanes? Who in their right mind would forecast hurricanes? I mean, come on! Do you even know how many people died in Hurricane Antonio Banderas last year? You probably wouldn’t, you’re busy forecasting useless cold fronts and such. Listen, if you are going to take the time to forecast the weather, forecast something nice, will you? What’s wrong with sunshine? Do you have something against the big ball of fire in space that keeps us alive on this planet we call Earth? Is there something wrong with a cloudless day? Although I do like clouds, though. One time this cloud that you forecasted looked exactly like Luxembourg’s prime minister Jean-Claude Juncker. Kudos to the meteorologist who forecasted that one. It must have taken quite some effort. How do you guys get clouds up there? Is there some kind of partnership between you and those cloud factories in big cities? I bet there is.
Also, you should really think about discontinuing Autumn. I mean, the weather’s nice, but all those leaves suck. All I do in the fall is rake. I meant to write this letter to you a month ago but I have been constantly raking to the point of insanity.
Please consider my comments, and please fire whoever forecasted Hurricane Antonio Banderas.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson
P.S. – Could you please forecast nice weather (around 73 degrees with low humidity) for next Saturday? It’s the 15th annual hog-painting festival, and I don’t want to miss it. |
|
|
|
|
