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July 9, 2005
Cadbury Adams USA LLC
400 Interpace Pkwy.
Dear Cadbury Adams:
I chew your Dentyne gum. It’s horrible. I think you could use a couple new flavors. And while you’re at it, why not teach kids values and morals? I have the perfect solution: vegetable flavored gums! This would be gum, flavored like vegetables. Kids hate vegetables. And kids love gum! Thus it can be inferred that all kids chew gum, but not all vegetables eat kids. Wait, that was wrong.
Anyway, back to the point! Since vegetables are good for you, but kids won’t eat them, why not introduce them to kids in a form they’ll love? Gum is the answer! And you are just the people to make it, since you are lacking in exciting new flavors at the moment.
Picture this: Charlie is playing basketball on a hot summer day. He’s sweating up a storm, and that glass of lemonade he drank still isn’t cooling him down. But here comes his mother with a piece of Dentyne broccoli gum! He is feeling refreshed and invigorated, and is ready to pummel the competition once again! Except for the fact that he is playing by himself due to a lack of friends! But that’s not the point! The point is, he will learn to overcome his fear of broccoli and will grow strong and be able to crush people with one hand like a grape.
This vegetable gum should also come in the following flavors: cauliflower, eggplant, potato, rutabaga, asparagus, and radish. (You could even sell a sampler pack with one of each!)
Let me know what you’re doing with this gum. Let’s not rush into this, now!
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson |
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