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F.A.R.T Fair Animal Rights Tribune Kevin Dickinson Editor-in-Chief
July 9, 2005
Entomological
Society of
America
Dear Entomological Society of America,
I am Kevin Dickinson, with the Fair Animal Rights Tribune, a NJ-based, internationally syndicated newspaper featuring articles on animal rights by such famous writers and activists as Jessica Simpson, Mr. T, Dennis Rodman, and Madonna’s cousin.
Me and my board of writers have decided that you are a direct threat to the animal communitizzle. I personally do not understand the pleasure derived from, and the ethical malpractice of, sticking long pins through dead bugs. Yes, they are dead, but that doesn’t make it right. If you were dead, would you want a giant pin through you? Yes? Well, you’re an exception. Most people wouldn’t. Anyway, please stop doing this as it is morally and ethically wrong, and it is dastardly. Only things in cartoons can be described as dastardly. So please stop poking bugs with needles.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson Editor-in-Chief F.A.R.T |
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