|
|
|
|
|
September 26, 2005
General Electric Co. 3135 Easton Turnpike Fairfield, CT 06828-0001
Dear GE,
I recently experienced a problem with one of your so-called “microwave” units (specifically, your Advantium® model). I read the entire instruction manual after I purchased it. Please commend its author for me, as the underlying themes and motifs of the particular piece of literature were outstandingly sublime. Also, the light and dark imagery was phenomenal: “…the Advantium® Over-the-Range Model comes in white, black…” (4). Yes, whoever wrote this instruction manual was most definitely a literary genius.
Anyway, back to my original point, which was my concern with the workings of your microwave ovens. The other day, just as I finished mowing the carpet, I came inside and wanted a real man’s meal to fill me up after a day’s worth of hard work. This was, of course, a hot dog. Namely, a hot dog situated on a hot dog “bun.” Tasty as it may seem, I certainly lost my appetite after I placed it, uncooked, into the microwave (for the purpose of cooking it). I closed the door and set it for 204 minutes, watched an excellent movie (The Teletubbies Go To Camden) and when it was done it was most certainly not edible. Upon inspection I found the hot dog to be black and misshapen, and it emitted the foulest of aromas.
I am writing to you today to express my general disgust with this experience. I paid a good $1500 for this microwave, and all it seems to do is burn my food and call me names. (I made up the second part for dramatic effect.) If one wants a hot dog, shouldn’t one be able to use a state-of-the-art microwave oven to cook said hot dog, and obtain a desirable result? I certainly think so. Obviously you disagree on the matter.
I would sincerely appreciate it if you reimbursed me for the cost of the hot dog. I divided the price of the pack by the number of hot dogs, and it was roughly 24 cents. Please make the check payable to Kevin Dickinson.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter; it is not often that customer service representatives read customer service letters.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson |
|
|
|
This response is a little different from the ones I normally get back. The lady from GE called and left a message on my answering machine. Unfortunately, I don't know how to clearly record something from an answering machine, so I typed the transcript (if you want to call it that). I did NOT make this up.
October 12, 2005 NEW MESSAGE: WEDNESDAY 10:18 A.M.
Yes, this message is for Mr. Kevin Dickinson. This is Susan Gregory with General Electric. I wanted to acknowledge that we have received your letter regarding the hot dog in your Advantium microwave. And I'm sorry to hear that it, um, had burned, but I questioned the amount of time that you actually put it in the Advantium for, 204 minutes. Um, so... I just wanted to call and let you know that we did receive the letter, and we're not offering to refund the 24 cents due to, um, the amount of time that you actually put it in the Advantium oven, so, um, again thank you for writing to General Electric.
END OF MESSAGE |
|
|
|
|
