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| NOTE: For obvious reasons, Michael Moore's address is not known to the public. I searched and searched but nowhere on the Internet could I find his address. Thus I never sent this one, but I thought I'd put it up here anyway. |
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Michael Moore
Dear Mr. Moore:
You may not be aware of this, but the lies and scandals behind the public library system are massive.
Let me first tell you that I am a huge fan of your work, and I am constantly inspired each day by your profound sense of style (a hat). I have watched your documentaries several times apiece, each with a new sense of drama and awe. In fact, I have viewed Bowling for Columbine (by Michael Moore) so many times that my VCR does not function properly. I am thinking of buying a DVD player covered with pictures of you. Do they sell 4” Michael Moore stickers? Where?
Now, back to the point at hand. If you’re looking for a new, dramatic documentary, as you probably always are, there is one just waiting for you in the public library system. Did you know that last time I went to the library they charged me for a book? It’s supposed to be free! (Does it matter that it was three years late? Will this affect your documentary in any way?)
Also, one time my friend claimed that he knew somebody whose cousin went to a library and got gum stuck on the bottom of his shoe. I mean, come on! A library! With gum! These days, it’s hard to not find scandal in something.
I sincerely believe that you, with all of your mastery in directing, could piece together a documentary so potent, so subliminally rich, yet so subtle, that the public will exalt you to the highest degree (six).
Oh and also the people at the library have a secret printing press for counterfeit money. I don’t know whether you want to include this or not. Please let me know what your opinion is of this idea! (I think it’s good)
Your fan,
Kevin Dickinson |
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