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March 31, 2005
Mary Ann Paranormal Investigator P.O. Box 33473 North Royalton, OH 44133
Dear Mary Ann:
I own a small business located in a facility where there are elevators. At night (usually after 9:32 p.m.) I begin to hear voices. Ned said he heard it too once but I think he just wanted a piece of the action.
Anyway, needless to say they are probably ghost voices, since I am writing this letter to a paranormal investigator. I was hoping that you could come over and paranormally investigate them.
You see, they’re not just voices. Sometimes I see apparitions. I think it’s John Wayne. But maybe not. He’s always muttering something about Pizza Pockets. I think he wants Pizza Pockets. However, (1) I do not possess any Pizza Pockets, and (C) how do you feed a ghost.
Do you know the cause of John Wayne’s ghost’s stomach’s haunting of my elevator? If so, please let me know as I would like to get rid of it. We have not had any customers since 1999. Is there a way to kill Pizza Pockets so they become ghosts too? Because then John Wayne can eat some.
Sometimes he’s wearing a polka-dot scarf, but most of the time he just stands there shirtless, in the elevator shaft, and mumbles about those Pizza Pockets. I don’t know what to do!
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson |
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