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July 9, 2005
Walgreen
Company
Dear Walgreens,
I usually don’t shop at Walgreens. But I made an exception the other day. I really needed a prescription filled and there was no other pharmacy that would do it. You see, 6.1 years ago my doctor diagnosed me with Humberger Disease. This is a rare and deadly disease that starts in the liver, but ends up in the toes. It makes your skin turn purple. So far there is no cure for Humberger Disease but I am hopeful. Last year I was in a marathon to raise money for this terrible illness but I fell and broke my pelvis and only raised 4 cents. But I am hopeful nonetheless.
Back to the point at hand, though. The only way to treat this disease is to inject 5 grams of Goop directly into the bloodstream (preferably through the neck). Other pharmacies will not fill my Goop prescription. I went to one of your Walgreens stores and still, they said they would not fill it. Why?? Do you want me to die? Do you like to see people suffer? All I am asking for here is a little Goop to inject into my neck! I even have insurance! Please tell me why no one is willing to give me my medication.
Also, I was looking for some Kevlar Bites™. Do you still sell them for 51 cents a can? Why won’t you fill my Goop prescription. I am going to die otherwise. I need this medication immediately.
With Dire Urgitude,
Kevin Dickinson
P.S. Do you know where I can buy a cheap umbrella hat for my dog. |
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