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August 1, 2005
Mead Consumer Relations Department Courthouse Plaza NE Dayton, OH 45463
Dear Mead,
I was stocking up for school. Pencils, pens, calculators – the works. I finished shopping. Then I got home and was all like, wait, I’m forgetting something vital to my academic well-being but I can’t remember what it is! Then my goldfish Nigel reminded me that it was Notebooks. Seeing as there is limited space on my hand for calculus equations, I set out to buy some notebooks from the local drugstore.
Mead I chose! I chose Mead! I only use Mead products. They are the finest. I bet if Mead were a food company it would make caviar. Gold-encrusted caviar. But it’s not. Let’s not digress, OK? Who eats caviar these days? The rich, I’ll tell you.
I am now on the edge. My patience has been tried, my friends. Tried like a cracker sample in a supermarket. Mmm, crackers. It’s true that Mead notebooks are for writing in, correct? How am I supposed to write anything in these notebooks when there are blue lines all over the pages. I checked ALL the pages. Each one has blue lines on either side, covering the entire page. This is clearly a manufacturing error. Thus, please send me free stuff and useless coupons. Or maybe I’ll try using STORE BRAND notebooks. How would you like THAT, Mead?
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson |
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