July 9, 2005

Town of Killington

Attn: Sewer Dept.
2706 River Road
P.O. Box 429
Killington, VT 05751

Dear Killington Sewer Dept:

I recently visited your town and had a tremendously wonderful time! Wow, that statue of Regis Philbin dressed as a cocktail waitress sure looks nice in City Hall.

Anyway, I’m writing regarding my lost wallet. I dropped this wallet while I was a-ramblin’ down the street and it fell into a drainage grate. My wallet is now in your sewer system. I was wondering if you had seen it? It’s black, and has a thousand I MEAN ONE DOLLAR IN IT – there’s no need to look inside. It only has ONE DOLLAR INSIDE. ONE U.S. DOLLAR. ACTUALLY THERE IS NO MONEY INSIDE BUT I NEED MY WALLET BACK. On the outside there is a picture of John Grisham eating a hot pepper with a spork. If you haven’t seen it, I was wondering if you could look for it please. It’s my wallet, and I want it back. If you don’t have time to look, or you just don’t feel like it, can you please grant me permission to enter your city’s sewer system?

Thank you. I will be sitting by my mailbox awaiting your response.

Sincerely,

Kevin Dickinson

Home