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August 30, 2005
Texas Instruments Inc.
Dear Texas Instruments,
I am having trouble solving a math problem. I am currently under the control of Master Rico, who orders me around and makes me brush his teeth. He says if I don’t solve this math problem for him it’ll be fifty lashings to the torso. Please, please don’t tell Master Rico about this letter! I’m supposed to solve this problem on my own. But I can’t; that’s why I need your help.
I was using your TI-83+ calculator to try and figure out this problem. However, I did not see a solution, or even a way to go about obtaining one. Here is the problem Master Rico is forcing me to solve:
A man walks into a bar on a moving train which is going SSW at 16.5 miles an hour on a slippery track. He orders a dry martini from a muscular man with a mustache. Another man, three time zones away, steps into the restroom of a fast food restaurant. He is contemplating eating some fries but does not want to become obese. He thinks to himself that a few fries can’t hurt. But first, he must use the lavatory. Now the man back on the train looks at his watch and it’s 12:03 in the afternoon. If the Alaskan canary flies at an average speed of 13 miles per hour, and if the two men were to meet in a parallel world, how long would it take for the man on the train to become drunk enough to kill the conductor and ram the train into the fast food restaurant three time zones away? (Keep in mind this is during daylight savings time in Guam on a Wednesday.)
Please assist me in solving this problem. I have had enough lashes thank you!
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson Mathematically Challenged Slave |
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