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| Suggestion by "Mr. McMartinson" |
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August 26, 2005
Manlove Psychiatric Group
Attn: Stephen
P. Manlove
Dear Dr. Manlove:
I have this friend, right? And he has this obsession. It’s a very strange obsession. But before I divulge it to you I want to say that several people recommended me to your practice (I used to live in South Dakota). It’s the best, from what I hear. My parents always said to me, “When you’re having social problems, son, turn to Manlove.”
Anyway, this friend is obsessed with writing wacky letters to random people and companies, and I can’t get him to stop. I was wondering if this was obsessive-compulsive disorder, or acute lymphatic lymphoma or something like that. He’s always mentioning ferrets and wombats for some reason. One time, he wrote this letter to this Chinese restaurant in Florida (he lives here in New Jersey) requesting take-out. A letter! This has got to stop. I have told him too many times before, “If you keep writing these letters, one day you are going to have a lot of letters. Like, more than three.” Of course, this has nothing to do with me stopping him; it’s just a little add-in. You know, to show that I wasn’t absent the day they taught math.
Anyway, what do you recommend for this strange behavior. He is going to get carpal tunnel and severe brain dysfunction one of these days, and it will be because I couldn’t stop him. And then as a result I will go crazy. By the way this friend is NOT ME.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson, who is NOT the friend I am referring to |
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