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July 9, 2005
Jel Sert Corporation
Route 59 and
Conde St.
Dear Jel Sert:
There are many cities in the United States today with extremely elevated crime levels. Most of this crime revolves around drugs! So don’t you agree that if the drug problem is fixed, there will be less crime?
Here’s the solution: you introduce the Opium Freeze-Pop. This way, kids can easily get their hands on drugs without having to kill 17 people in the process. It would only be sold in areas with an extremely high crime rate. This way, kids would learn that violence isn’t the answer. Eating flavored ice is. I’m even thinking of sending this idea to the President, but I like you. Let’s stop crime with the Opium Freeze-Pop!
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson
P.S. Could you refer me to a company that you think would want to manufacture Heroin Ham? |
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