|
|
|
|
|
August 1, 2005
Commerce Bank Kings Highway Branch
Attn: Mr.
Alex Winkler
Dear Mr. Winkler,
Last Tuesday the 42nd at approximately 3 o’ twelve p.m. I was in your branch, banking and such. I saw this thing called Penny Arcade and decided to check it out. Upon learning of its main feature, a.k.a. coin counting, I immediately decided to cash in all of my coins. The problem is, I have a lot of coins. Specifically, $1,925,259,435,535.02 worth of coins. I counted them yesterday. Now here’s the deal. Normally I would assume that customers use “Penny” to get CASH from their COINS. You see, I have a wide assortment of coins, including quarters, dimes, and pennies. (but NO nickels. I HATE nickels. Nickels are the devil!!!)
Here’s what I would like to do. I want to take all of these coins and convert them into pennies. I want to go swimming in my pennies like Scrooge McDuck. He’s “da bomb.” You sell swimming equipment right?
Anyway, I am assuming that you have all of these pennies at your branch right now, since you’re a bank, and you’re supposed to have lots and lots of money. But I’m just checking. I wouldn’t want to come in there with my 17 U-Hauls full of coins only to discover that your bank only had 32 pennies on location. So if you need to order a billion skillion pennies (rough estimate), do it by last Saturday as I will be arriving with six poodles next Wednesday.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson
P.S. All of my money is from Kykgystzygiszkgyistan. What is your exchange rate. |
|
|
Two pages! |
|
|
|
|
