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July 9, 2005
Lowe’s
1000 Lowe's
Blvd.
Dear Lowe’s:
My friend Higgins wants me to build him a Scottish hut. I have no idea what this is. I looked online and it said I needed a quellin wrench. Can I order one from you? How long does it take to arrive at my house? He needs this Irish castle by mid-May. Do you know how to build one?
I am willing to pay whatever you normally charge for quellin wrenches because he really, really NEEDS his British rancher to be complete. He is currently HOMELESS. He says if I finish building him a quaint Latvian home by mid-May he will let me look at it in wonder!
Please send me a quellin wrench, and the bill. I don’t care about the cost. All I care about is building that Norwegian cottage he’s always dreamed of.
Urgently,
Kevin Dickinson |
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This one's short and sweet (and late). |
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