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September 12, 2005
Kids Kuts Salon 2323 Shallowford Road Suite 113 Marietta, GA 30066-2000
Dear Kids Kuts Salon,
Recently I stayed in your fine town of Georgia and let me say, what a beautiful place to catch up on my reading (I’m reading about diseases). I have 7 children: Steve, Steven, Stephen, Stevebert, Henrietta, Georgiepie, and Higginsworth. They are so adorable! I thought, wouldn’t they look even more adorable with cute wittle haircuts! Yes they would! Who’s my little baaaaabies?
The eight of us squiggled into your salon single-file for a HAIRCUT HOUR!!!!! And wouldn’t you know it, your hairtologists did a great job in just under 59 minutes! Hooray for glorious amounts of free time!
Well, actually, they did a good job on all of my little pumpkinpoos except for Stephen. Of course, leave it to me to not notice a mistake until after I make the 73,000 mile flight back to New Jersey. I guess I was too busy adoring the other children’s haircuts, or reading about the harmful effects of cirrhosis (also known as the common cold). Well anyway, if I come back down there to show you, will you give me a refund? Do you keep the hair, or get rid of it right away. Stephen looks retarded! He is half bald now. People come up to us on the streets and say, “You shouldn’t let beavers attack your children’s heads.” I cried! Tears streamed down my face because I have the self-esteem of a 2x4! Please! I would like a refund.
Yours truly,
Kevin Dickinson Father of a Bad Haircut |
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