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August 29, 2005
MalacoLeaf
Denmark
Dear MalacoLeaf Company,
Swedish Fish are the best! Thank you for manufacturing them! Without them Denmark may have become a third-world country. Anyway, I just called to say I love you.
2oz. Swedish Fish packages are like codeine pills. I pop some here and there, I pop some everywhere. (I would not and could not eat Swedish Fish in a box, though.) I am confused! Being a Libra, I am forced to read serving sizes like there’s no Wednesday. Your package says, “Serving size: 1 bag.” Now this is understandable. Like most people with common sense, I am going to consume an entire 2oz. bag because, mathematically speaking, the calorie intake is less than the tasty factor (9 billion). However, the next line on the package reads “Servings per container: about 1.” There’s about 1 bag there? If I am holding one bag of Swedish Fish, you are meaning to tell me that it’s approximately one bag? Which means that it could be 1.4 bags? Or even worse, 0.7 bags? Am I getting gypped? Or am I not seeing correctly? Do I need contacts? Should I stick out my tongue? You don’t want me to cough, now, do you?
This is going nowhere. Please tell me what you really mean by “about 1 bag.” Because I am sitting here pondering that very question, and I will not rise from this chair, not even to go to the mailbox, until I get a response. I don’t care if it takes 45 minutes. I am going to sit here and wait.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson |
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Sure, this is funny. But what would be
funnier is if they actually changed the text on the package.  |
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And they actually changed the package! Take a
look for yourself - click on the before & after picture below to enlarge. |
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