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F.A.R.T Fair Animal Rights Tribune Kevin Dickinson Editor-in-Chief
July 9, 2005
Camel Cigarettes PO Box 4876 Mtn. View, CA 94040
Dear Camel:
My name is Kevin Dickinson. I represent the Cherry Hill (NJ)-based animal rights newspaper, the Fair Animal Rights Tribune (F.A.R.T) Our newspaper is published bihourly and features worldwide stories about the struggle to preserve equal rights for our furry friends. (Some animals are not furry; this is just a metaphor, or an aphorism, or something of that nature)
I have been pondering recklessly over your product, Camel Cigarettes, and I have come to the supposition that you are trying to say that it is O.K. for camels to smoke. In my mind’s eye there is only one way for camels to do so; they must be described as smokin’ (cool). As in, “Wow, that’s one smokin’ camel!” or “Horses are good, but camels are SMOKIN’.” I think it would be better for you to sell little camel figurines. It could say smokin’ on the package.
Camels should not smoke. I was told this by the U.S. Surgeon General. He is an active member of our society and often writes articles for the Tribune. Therefore, I am asking you to withdraw your marketing campaign and think of something different. Maybe you could have a 12-year old kid smoking on the front of the package, since that’s who your target market is anyway.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson Editor-in-Chief F.A.R.T |
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