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July 9, 2005
Red Bull North America, Inc. 2525 Colorado Blvd., Suite 320 Santa Monica, CA 90404
Dear Red Bull:
The other day I drank 10 of your drinks. (Red Bull) They are delicious! I drank all ten within a matter of two minutes. My throat was aching for soothing relief! But I kept drinking those Red Bulls! I had some meticulous work that had to be done, and I was completely drained from the previous day’s extended session of cow-tipping, so I drank lots and lots of Red Bulls. There is a problem, however. I think they might have gotten me really, really high because I actually thought I had wings and my friend had to stop me from trying to fly. I would have flown, too! I had those wings! They just sprouted right out of my back. They were white and fluffy just like in the commercials. Except I was the only one able to see them. Is this normal? Does Red Bull really give you wings? Because I think I had them. I give my goldfish Nigel a can of Red Bull every day (I pour it into his tank) and he can swim really fast. Nigel says thank you Red Bull!! What should I do about my not being able to fly? I would like to fly. I have always wanted to soar over the vast expanses of the Atlantic Ocean in my boxer shorts.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson |
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Although this came back to me in the beginning of October
2005 (I wrote the letter in March) it was well worth the wait. (The dog was
not inside the package.)   |
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