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September 23, 2006
Mack & Manco Pizza 920 Boardwalk Ocean City, NJ 08226
Dear Mack & Manco Pizza,
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
Sure, people in America are protected by these sacred words. But herein lies the problem. I am a seagull, and nowhere in the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, or the Bill of Rights does it state that seagulls have any inalienable rights. I have been lobbying New Jersey politicians for years to get this changed, but no one will hear the voice of a bird.
Recently I tried ordering a pizza for my avian friends and I. I flew right into Mack & Manco Pizza, but five seconds later I was being beaten out of the store with a broom. This is no way to treat a living creature, human or seagull! The employees didn’t even let me order. As soon as they saw me they thought, “Seagulls are NOT welcome here!”
Put yourself in my shoes for a minute (but first imagine that I wear shoes). How would you like it if everywhere you went you were not welcome? Would you enjoy stealing innocent beachgoers’ sandwiches when they turned their heads? Would you eat dirty potato chips people have dropped in the sand? This is what I am forced to do every day. When I’m not scavenging the beach for tidbits of nourishment I am scouring the trash cans for anything edible.
Please, I would like to know why you feel it necessary to discriminate against my kind. Yes, some of my brethren may be loud and obnoxious but you cannot make a sweeping generalization about seagulls in this manner. I intended to order a pizza, pay, and leave quietly, but was unable to do so. I also tried the other two Mack & Manco locations on the boardwalk but to my dismay I had similar experiences there as well.
I meant no harm and I have nothing against humans, so please tell me why I was discriminated against and what you will do to rectify the situation. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson Seagull |
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