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September 4, 2006
The Weather Channel 300 Interstate North Parkway Atlanta, GA 30339-2404
Dear Weather Channel,
I am a big fan of weather! I watch your channel all the time. I like the following: Clouds, warm fronts, snow, barometers, cold fronts, The Rain Man, Dustin Hoffman, (I HATE Tom Cruise. He was great in The Last Samurai), drizzles, record highs, droughts, floods, thermometers, Tropical Depression Five, the ozone layer, Chef Boyardee Beefaroni™, tornadoes, ice, gusts, and the Jet Stream. I dislike the following:
Weather is great! Even the slightest change in temperature gives me a massive adrenaline rush that sometimes makes me pick up small cars and chuck them into the neighbor’s den one time. Let’s not talk about that though. It was caused by the temperature going from 65 degrees to 66. Wow! Imagine that.
Some people dislike rain. Others hate it when it snows. One guy I know asked a congressman to outlaw clouds. But I like all weather. My favorite weather, though, is massive thunderstorms that cause power outs. I think it’s funny when the milk goes bad because of lightning. How silly! “Hey, do you have any milk?” my neighbor Breadley might say. “No,” I’d reply. “The lightning got to it.”
Surely I cannot be the only person who loves weather. People who work for the Weather Channel are bound to love weather! I am sure that many more people share this love. That is why I propose to you a catchy new slogan:
“The WEATHER CHANNEL: There's no such thing as bad weather, you fool.”
This will even console people during a hurricane. They will say, “Well if the Weather Channel says this is good weather, there’s no need to be scared!” Let me know what you think of this slogan. It is free! Did the lightning get to your milk too?
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson |
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