July 22, 2006

CUTCO Cutlery

1116 East State Street

Olean, New York 14760

Dear Cutco,

I am a big fan of knives. I use them for everything! Even when I was in third grade I carried a 19” machete with me everywhere I went. I had only one friend and it was Harvey the machete. We would frolic in the fields together, picking strawberries all day long then coming home and chopping them up into 1,000 pieces.

Nowadays I carry 45 knives with me – even when I am swimming at the local pool. You can never be too safe, if you ask me. But mainly I use my knives for kitchen-related tasks, such as slicing tender steaks and staging realistic knife fights with former heavyweight sumo champions.

So when a Cutco representative came to my door, I was thrilled! Knives are my passion; knives are my life. He informed me that he wanted to give me a demonstration. But first, I made him see my knife demonstration. I stood him up against the wall, and held 8 knives in each hand (if you are following, this is 16 knives). I then threw them at the wall with deadly force and they created an outline of his body, just like in the movies and certain cartoons. So then I let him show me all the neat things Cutco knives can do. Sedgwick the Cutco Rep even told me that Cutco knives are capable of slicing leather shoes. Lucky me! I was wearing leather shoes. I immediately tested the theory, and it works wonderfully! That Cutco knife sliced my leather shoe in half with ease! But now half of my foot is missing. Sedgwick seemed to have left out a minor detail.

I would like to know what you are going to do about this. I have had many knife demonstrations before, and never have I lost half a foot. Please send me some valuable coupons or something to compensate for me not having part of my foot anymore.

Sincerely,

Kevin Dickinson

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