July 26, 2006

Wal-Mart San

ATTN: Careers

702 SW Eighth Street

Bentonville, AR 72716

Honorable Wal-Mart San,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Kevin Dickinson and I have spent the past 20 years of my life living in Japan, training to become a master samurai. The time has finally come, and I have completed Sensei Kobayashi’s Five Tests of the True Warrior. Ready to come home to my country, I moved back to America two months ago.

Unfortunately, I have not yet found the numerous job openings for “Master Samurai” promised to me by my sensei. Perhaps they have filled up during these twenty long years. That is why I am writing to your corporation; I wish to seek employment. On your web site you advertise an opening for a Senior Supply Chain Analyst. I believe I would be a good candidate for this position due to my extensive list of skills:

-        7 yrs. experience in logistics, Lockheed Martin

-        Ability to kill a man silently in two seconds

-        Stealthy breaking-and entering skills

o        “Most Stealthy Ninja” plaque, 13 consecutive years

-        No limit to my threshold for pain

-        Ability to survive without nourishment for one full week

-        Knowledge of Microsoft Office® 2000

Please consider me for this position. I believe I can use my abilities to their full potential to help Wal-Mart as a whole and to drive the corporation forward. I look forward to your correspondence. Thank you once again for your time.

Sincerely,

Kevin Dickinson

Master Samurai (8^th Degree)

Silent Assassin

Corporate Analyst

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