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September 23, 2006
Jostens Inc. Corporate Headquarters 3601 Minnesota Drive Minneapolis, MN 55435
Dear Jostens,
I have come up with an amazing new yearbook prototype you’ll be dying to lay your corporate hands on! Remember back in high school, when you would look through all your classmates’ pictures, and write remarks near each one? “NERD!” you would write next to Dexter Poindexter, that guy with a pocket protector and Coke-bottle glasses. Or you may have written “BITCH” next to Mary Sue, the meanest girl in school.
Well now it’s even easier! With the “Nasty Remarks” Yearbook, giving people vile epithets is simple! The “Nasty Remarks” Yearbook comes equipped with two lines under each picture for the malicious soubriquets you can give your classmates. Don’t spend endless hours searching for white space around a picture! Write your nicknames right underneath.
The “Nasty Remarks” Yearbook is perfect for the busy student who wants to define people by their imperfections and give them horrible stereotypes but just doesn’t have the time to look for enough white space to write in. I know just how full students’ schedules are these days. But between volunteer firefighting, AIDS research, and helping the elderly, remembering people as “ASSHOLE” and “DRUGGIE” takes no time at all… and it’s a breeze!
And as an added bonus, the “Nasty Remarks” Yearbook comes equipped with epithet lines under teachers’ pictures as well! Now you can remember your instructors with such catchy phrases as “THE DEVIL” and “HAS NO LIFE” with ease!
So what do you think? The “Nasty Remarks” Yearbook is sure to be the future yearbook of all high school graduates.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson Inventor |
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