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August 7, 2006
Senator Richard J. Codey (D-NJ) 449 Mount Pleasant Avenue West Orange, NJ 07052
Dear Senator Codey,
During my three years of intense research into New Jersey’s hidden past (during which time I was humming the state song, “I’m From New Jersey,” rather incessantly), I have discovered some long-lost hidden secrets about our fine state I think I should share with you. I delved deeply into the archaic volumes of our forefathers and emerged, miraculously unscathed, with facts and data that has not seen the light of day since the early 1800s.
But first I must discuss an important matter with you. One who scrutinizes New Jersey’s history so carefully must undoubtedly stumble upon the official “State Stuff” acknowledged and, supposedly, venerated by each state. What I am talking about here is the state insect, the honeybee. And the state flower, the common meadow violet. But what is the purpose of our state shell (the knobbed whelk)? I am aware that these shells are beautiful and that they are a symbol of the Jersey shore (and yes, it’s “shore,” not “beach”). But is it really necessary to make these things “official?” Some of them are ridiculous.
Take, for example, the square dance. As New Jersey’s official state dance, one might expect to see people square dancing night and day. But nay, this is not the case. I for one have never square danced, nor do I plan on doing so in the near future. In fact, square dancing is something I’d only expect to see in Montana. And the state dinosaur (hadrosaurus)? How come I don’t see any of those anywhere?
Please take these thoughts into consideration, and consider abolishing all this official “state stuff.” Or if you can’t do that, have fun with it! Propose a bill to introduce the official State Condiment (relish) or the official State Bulletproof Vest Material (Kevlar). Let me know what you think of my idea!!!
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson
P.S. How about the official State Breakfast On The Go (Pop-Tarts and an apple), or the official State Hallucinogen (mescaline), or even the official State Punctuation Mark (the semicolon)? |
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