September 21, 2006

Skylar Robinson

Psychic

6810 Roswell Rd. Suite 2-A

Atlanta, GA 30328

Dear Ms. Robinson,

You told my friend “Tidbit” McLollins about his future two years ago, and everything that you said came true! He is getting older, just as you described! And over the phone you guessed he was male. Yes, he still is! Astounding!

Last year, I had a psychic reading too. I stepped into a tiny dark tent and met Madame Muskins. She looked into the Crystal Wart on her nose and told me in a mysterious voice that I would win the lottery on August 29, 2006 by playing the numbers 1-2-3-4-5-6. Was I skeptical? Sure. I had played these numbers in the past and won nothing. But coming from a psychic with a name like “Madame,” I truly believed it.

The next day I showed my boss one of my more inappropriate fingers and went out and spent 8 hundred million dollars. I remodeled my house, paid for 4 new sports cars (one for each day of the week), purchased a state-of-the-art waffle iron, got myself a set of stainless steel sporks (one for each day of the month), paid for all my neighbors’ mortgages, gambling debts, and corrupt political bribes, and bought Luxembourg. To top it all off I went out and got a jelly donut.

As it so happens, the winning numbers on August 29, 2006 were not 1-2-3-4-5-6. They were 6-5-4-3-2-1. And 900 million people won and they each got thirty cents. As an accredited psychic, who I am sure has a master’s degree in Psychic Science from someplace like Harvard or Fulton County Community College, I would like to visit you in Georgia to ask a question. Specifically, what is the exact date of Madame Muskins’ death? I want to sit on her lawn with a beer and a bag of potato chips and watch her succumb to the icy grip of death. I might being a friend or two along with me.

When is it most convenient for you to have me visit you? Do you do Death Readings? Is my visit “in the cards?” Do you know I’m coming? What am I wearing? Do I have something in my teeth?

Forebodingly,

Kevin Dickinson

Home