I decided to try something different, so I wrote this letter on parchment in cursive. I never expect a response when I write a letter, but I put so much effort into this one that a response seems likely. The words turned out to be smaller (and a bit more slanted and hard to read) than I had originally intended, but hey, no one is perfect. Below you will find the original letter (text version), and the "Seal of the King" I drew on the back of the envelope (although the seal looks more like a hamburger than a crown).

August the 25th, 2006

 

Medieval Times Restaurant

149 Polito Avenue

Lyndhurst, NJ 07071

 

Most Noble Medieval Times Restaurant,

 

Let me begin by introducing myself. I am Kevin Dickinson, son of Reginald the Bold and Isabella the Beautiful, heir to the Fortune of Osbert, master of the Knights of Grymenhull. During my lifetime I have led many men into battle, and under my command, my elite soldiers have never given in to the enemy. Such a successful conquest has led me to become King Laurentius’ right hand man.

 

Today I unite pen and paper to seek employment at your establishment. Many years have passed since our kingdom has engaged in conflict; the reputation we have gained from countless victories and the vigilant eyes of the town watchmen have prevented a strife.

 

I am, of course, dreadfully grateful for the lack of enemy conflicts we have experienced; however, I am a man of action and cannot endure these dull and wearisome days. Therefore, I wish to employ myself at your eatery. I was formally trained as a jouster by the famous Henricus (surely you have heard mention of his name?) and quickly rose to the rank of Champion. I believe my skills, both as a jouster and as a master knight, will prove most effective at your establishment. Surely, the rarity of my literacy must be of some worth as well.

 

Before I conclude, I must ask of you one question: Is it the truth my men speak when they converse about your employees being mere replicas of kings, knights, and noblewomen? Are your workers simply imitating the part given to them? If so, I cannot fathom a reason. In this day and age an upright, respectable noblewoman is easy to locate.

 

Please correspond with information on the subject of my employment at your restaurant. I will have you know I do not carry the Plague with me; nor any other disease. Good day, kind sirs.

 

 

 

Respectfully,

 

Kevin Dickinson

Master Knight

Here's the official "Seal of the King" I drew on the back of the envelope for added effect. This seal, as previously mentioned, appears to resemble a delicious (pointy) hamburger rather than a crown.

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