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October 18, 2006
Rand McNally Consumer Affairs PO Box 7600 Chicago, IL 60680-9915
Dear Rand McNally,
I work in a cubicle. It doesn’t really matter where I work, just that I work in a small, gray cubicle. I type some numbers into my computer and file memos. I’m not really sure what purpose this serves, but it brings home a meager paycheck, so hey? Who’s complaining?
The other day, I was bored and tired of typing numbers and filing memos, so I planned a trip to China during my lunch break. I figured I could easily pull this off, because according to your world maps, China is only eight inches away from New Jersey. I was driving to the airport, thinking about how it didn’t seem like eight inches, but I finally arrived and I got on the plane anyway. Why I needed to take a plane there, who knows. But I didn’t know which way to walk.
I was on that plane for over ten hours! The entire time, I was thinking about how angry my boss would be when he found out I went to China on my lunch break. To make matters worse, I got to China a day later because of some dotted line near Alaska. But hey, I was there, so I did some sightseeing. I walked the length of the Great Wall of China, which is just OK, and then I ate some tasty rice, which was the highlight of my trip. I got on a plane home the next day, and boy was my boss furious! He was even angrier than last April Fools’ Day, when I poisoned his coffee. He almost died – hilarious!
Needless to say, I don’t work in a cubicle anymore. My normal day consists of me watching TV, then thinking about getting a new job, but ultimately watching more TV.
I want to know why you have lied to me! China is very, very far away. Nobody said anything to me about map scales.
Angrily,
Kevin Dickinson |
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