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January 2, 2007
Congressman Rob Andrews 2439 Rayburn House Building Washington, DC 20515
Dear Congressman Andrews,
Quick! Before 2007 is over! We have to do this. 2006 started only a year ago, and now it’s gone forever! We must make haste! Two days have already passed, so you should get working on this legislation soon before it’s 2008.
What I’m proposing is the Future Bill, which legally turns the year 2007 backwards, becoming 7002. It would be the future! Imagine, no more waiting for society to advance over several millennia. We could do it all instantly! How come nobody thought of time travel by legislative means before?
Who knows what the future will hold? I think everything will have a microchip, even spoons. Maybe you can eat cereal and read a magazine at the same time, because spoons will be controlled by your voice, and your hands will be free to perform various other tasks. But remember not to talk with your mouth full! Nobody likes that.
Do you think the year 7002 will have solar-powered scissors? Maybe we’ll all live in silly looking domes. I know I would. But we won’t find out until you pass the Future Bill! Tell whoever is running the country that I said it’s a good idea. There might be books that read themselves, so you don’t have to. I hope in the future there are no swarms of miniature robots that will kill you instantly. Let’s find out!
Get your Congress buddies together and tell them about the Future Bill. Don’t you want to see the future? I wonder if cats will still exist in 7002. I mildly dislike them. Do you think there will be chickens so advanced that they come before the egg? Please write back.
Futuristically,
Kevin Dickinson Your Constituent |
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