Honorable Al Gore
2100 West End Avenue
Suite 620
Nashville, TN 37203

October 18, 2007

Dear Mr. Gore,

To commence my letter, I shall congratulate you on your recent Nobel Peace Prize:

Congratulations on your recent Nobel Peace Prize!

Next I shall address a specific concern I have regarding your Nobel Peace Prize. Many of us “normal” citizens previously believed the Internet to be finite, unlike current theories about the Universe. But let us consider: how would anyone possibly know anything about the Universe past what we can observe via telescopic and satellite images? By these means I ask you: how can anyone know that the Internet is finite?

A colleague of mine has conducted some experiments to test the expanse of your invention, that series of tubes we all know and love. He scientifically slapped his computer monitor, which, as those with Internet doctorates know, randomizes web content. After twelve slaps and no repeated web pages, my colleague extrapolated that the Internet is endless, and was in fact wearing a lab coat when he proclaimed this.

Several times during his experimentation he reached violent web pages that advertised lots of “Gore.” Clearly there is a connection here, though in its subtleties he could not locate an image of you on any purportedly “Gorey” web site.

Perhaps it is time you considered why you have won this Nobel Peace Prize for the invention of the Internet. While it is true that Greenpeace and NATO and all that jazz have their peaceful corners of the web, Nobel Prize awarders failed to recognize the hidden reality.

Therefore it is with great reluctance that I ask you to do one of three things:

1. Change “Gorey” sites to “Gore” sites with pictures of you and your DVD.
2. Give your Nobel Peace Prize to someone more worthy, like Rosa Parks.
3. Delete the Internet.

While I realize the last measure is extreme, it may very well be our only alternative. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

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