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Whole Foods Market Greentree Square Shopping Center 940 Route 73 North Marlton, NJ 08053
March 27, 2007
Hello, Whole Foods.
We meet again, but this time on paper. Our last encounter was in person at your store about a week ago. I was the man in the tiki shirt buying Hawaiian punch and Froot Loops. They are a delicious part of this balanced breakfast.
Delicious, yes. Whole? I don’t think so. I fully expected, after shopping at a store called Whole Foods, that my Froot Loops would not be broken when I poured them into my bowl. I am trying to live a tropical lifestyle here, and you are certainly not helping!
Sure, when I walk into my tiki hut (next to the living room) and light the torches, I get into the atmosphere. I really think I’m in Hawaii. I will drink Tropicana or Hawaiian Punch, either of which I buy from your store. Then I will eat Froot Loops, a delicious part of this balanced breakfast. But today, when I found them in PIECES, I totally reverted to New Jersey (it’s where I actually am). This is NOT cool, and I did NOT build a tiki hut so I could revert back to New Jersey. I can’t afford Hawaii, you know.
Tell your manager that the Froot Loops are broken. Good DAY, sir!
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson
P.S. Where is the nearest grass skirt outlet? |
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