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Alberto-Culver Co. 2525 Armitage Avenue Melrose Park, IL 60160
May 10, 2007
Dear Alberto,
I must say, your V05 toothpaste tastes horrible. I have been using it for a full week and I had to throw it away. It has a “soapy” taste that makes me gag. It foams up in my mouth and I am unable to breathe. This is bad toothpaste. Tell this to your CEO over lunch. “Listen, CEO,” you will say, “There’s this really important customer out there who dislikes our toothpaste. He is really important. And he hates our toothpaste.”
I thought I might test it out for an entire seven-day period, thinking that it was an acquired taste. I was wrong. But people have been telling me my teeth have that natural radiance and shine, so I continued to use it. But never again shall I brush my teeth with such rubbish! Away with it, I say! Yesterday I incinerated the bottle at a waste-disposal plant. It’s where I work. It’s also where I brush my teeth. I don’t have time to brush them at home. “Don’t forget your toothbrush!” my wife says in the morning. I never hear her because I’m running out the door.
I’m sure this is not the first time you’ve had a complaint about your V05 toothpaste. It is disgusting.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson |
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Alberto Culver is famed for its
patented "Let's keep the customer confused as hell!" customer service
program. This letter is a quintessential example of the program in
action. First it says, "We are happy to supply you with the information
you requested." But then, lo and behold, it changes like lightning! "We
are unable to provide the information that your requested." Whoa! Then,
as a recap (with a twist!) it reads, "We hope this information is
helpful." This leaves me wondering: Just how do they do it? |
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