International Dendrological Research Institute
PO Box 812910
Wellesley, MA 02482

September 15, 2007

Dear IDRI,

I was wondering if you could explain a dendrological phenomenon occurring right here in my front yard. You see, all of the leaves on my trees are starting to change color. They are turning to yellow, orange, and sometimes even brown. I fear it must be the weed killer I sprayed near the driveway that has leaked into the soil and is killing my trees. I had to use extra-powerful weed poison because there’s a nasty gang of weeds that was hanging out between the cracks in my driveway. I didn’t use a lot of it, but like I said, it was extra-strength, so I’ll bet that’s what’s killing all my trees.

Oh, wooden friends! Why must you die? Who will provide me with shade when you are gone? Who will hit me on the head with delicious apples? Who will provide me with sap for my pancakes? Why, oh why must you part this earth!?

Please, IDRI, you know what you’re talking about. Tell me why my precious dendroites (or whatever they’re called) are dyeing! And also, why they are dying!

Sincerely,

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