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Marias Medical Center November 16, 2007 Dear Marias Medical Center, Allow me to introduce myself. I am able to do this because I have schizophrenia. But I have overcome my major symptoms with electroshock therapy, dozens of pills, and Nerds™ candy (a little-known homeopathic remedy). I spent 43 years as a navel surgeon and will be moving to Shelby in several months, and I was hoping you’d have an open position for me. I searched your website and noticed you currently have no navel surgeons on your staff. I will gladly bring my services to the Shelby, Montana area. I work with care and precision when operating on people’s navels. Many of my surgeon friends from college still play that game “Pretend Your Patient is the Pilsbury Dough Boy.” I do not do this. It is dangerous for people with navels in delicate conditions requiring surgery. I am a professional. And so am I. I expect to move into my new home in roughly six months and would greatly appreciate information regarding open positions at your hospital. Thank you for your time. I will be sure to take my Nerds™ every day so as not to scare off all the patients.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson, M.D., Ph.D., BBC, QVC |
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