American Greetings Corporation

Attention: Customer Support

One American Road

Cleveland, OH 44144-2398

September 7, 2007

Dear American Greetings,

I was quite impressed with the vide variety of cards on your website. Where else can I celebrate Back Hair Appreciation Day? Nowhere.

I was strictly unimpressed, however, when I perused the columns (I don’t call them aisles anymore) of one of your stores looking for a very specific greeting card. Now one would tend to think that a company boasting Back Hair Appreciation Day would logically also have cards for National Twist-Wand Makers’ Day. But where could I find this card? Nowhere.

A twist-wand is that long rod you twist to make the slats on window blinds tilt in different directions. There are tens – nay, at least thirty-five diligent men and women who toil day and night in twist-wand factories all across Peoria, Illinois so that we, the American Public, may have the pleasure of maybe blocking sunlight. They are overworked and underpaid – and worst of all, hardly appreciated. I bet when you were busy devising a card about back hair you didn’t think for one second about the true American heroes making twist-wands!

National Twist-Wand Makers’ Day is September 22 to commemorate the day Julio van der Hoeser invented the twist-wand, which effectively blocks out the sun. Have you ever invented something powerful enough to block out the sun? I didn’t think so. Where’s your appreciation?

I think this is borderline discriminatory. So what you need to do is recognize this accredited holiday like all the rest and start printing cards for the occasion. I’m not asking for an entire collection – just one or two to choose from. One or two that say, “Hey, twist-wand maker guys, thanks for making those twist-wands.” I bet no one ever thanks them for making twist-wands, do they.

Imagine yourself in their shoes, exerting the massive physical effort it takes to create a single twist-wand, sweating gallons just for a few dollars. Then slap yourself back into reality and remind yourself you’re a card maker. Make those cards.

Sincerely,

Kevin Dickinson

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