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East Coast Piano November 16, 2007 Dear East Coast Piano, As a professional pianist (which, by the way, has a stress on the “an” and does not rhyme with a male body part), I was appalled at your selection of pianos. What, are they for blind people? None of your keys have letters on them. How am I supposed to distinguish one white key from the next? And the black keys are even worse! Moreover, there are multiple instances of each note. There are like 5 or 6 E’s alone. What the heck am I supposed to do with so many E’s? Harmonize? No. Harmony is for two or more different notes. E and E just sounds like E. Your pianos are way too long. Maybe you didn’t think about which notes to put on there. Maybe you didn’t look in an elementary school music textbook to see that there are only 12 notes. You can’t invent more, as much as you wish you could, and putting 81 keys on a piano isn’t going to make “new sounds.” Perhaps you should take some advice from Toys “R” Us, which sells a plethora of suitable pianos for the professional pianist (again, does not rhyme with a male sex organ). Each of their finely crafted instruments features large black letters denoting the notes, if you will. Some specialty models have keys that light up when you play them. What you are running is a scam business. You cannot sell “long” pianos to people who are unaware of the number of notes there are. Also, pianos do not require pedals as far as I’m concerned. Pedals are for cars.
Sincerely,
Kevin Dickinson P.S. I was referring to a penis earlier, if you didn’t get my reference. |
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