Turkey Hill
2601 River Road
Conestoga, PA 17516

October 15, 2007

Dear Turkey Hill,

Most new inventions are accidental. Take the color blue, for instance. No one invented that on purpose.

My invention is one such accident. Last night my pregnant wife made me drive to the store at 3am to get her pickles and ice cream. Normally I’d decline but she broke out the cattle prod. “NOW,” she said.

So I get the stuff, check out, and leave the store, and as I’m walking to my car, WHOOPS! I drop the bag. It just so happened that both containers opened and the contents intermingled, creating Pickle Ice Cream.

“CRAP!” I yelled, passing an old woman with the munchies going into the store. “She won’t eat this!” But, being the obstinate man that I am, I closed the pickle jar and the ice cream container and thought nothing more about them.

By the time I got home my wife was curled up in the fetal position on the front stoop of the house, sucking her thumb. I ran inside and got the airplane spoon and, forgetting all about the mixed components, fed her a very strange snack. It was not until the airplane let down its landing gear and landed that I saw the edge of a pickle in the vanilla ice cream. “NOOOOOOOOO!” I thought. But it was too late.

Yet no harsh reaction followed. She only wanted more. So much more that the container was empty ten minutes later.

I tried Pickle Ice Cream and it sucks. But apparently pregnant people love it! It’s the ultimate craving for you and your baby.™ I think you should manufacture something like this, pre-made so clumsy husbands don’t need to fumble the grocery bag to delight their wives. Not necessarily pickles thrown into vanilla ice cream, but perhaps a subtle, creamy pickle undertone built right in. The front of the container can have a smiling pregnant woman.

Pickle Ice Cream, as I see it, is the perfect spread for a bun in the oven.

 

Sincerely,

Kevin Dickinson
Accidental Inventor

A handwritten response!? These companies have REAL PEOPLE? What happened to the robots?
Wow! A free calendar. And it arrived just as my old calendar was running out of days! What a coincidence.

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