Walt Disney Corporation

500 South Buena Vista Street

Burbank, California, 91521

February 19, 2007

Dear Disney World,

I just went to your parks in January. And my trip was so fantastic, I’m thinking of going again. What are the chances?!?!

But I have recently reconsidered due to the outbreak of salmonella in Peter Pan peanut butter. Now everybody knows Peter Pan himself works in the factory and oversees the production of this popular jelly compliment. We’ve all heard the story of his boredom with childhood, and the tabloids were all over him when he said “I think I’ll grow up now,” as he left Neverland rather foolishly one cold Thursday.

Now that he’s an adult, he has to do adult things, like oversee peanut butter production. My main concern, however, is that Peter Pan is the one who is contaminating the product. Any moron knows that peanut butter factory workers stir the peanut butter with their arms, so logically isn’t our green friend the one who is giving people salmonella?

This brings me to my next point. No one wants to admit it, but we all know Peter Pan and Tinkerbell are “more than just friends.” Now Tinkerbell probably has salmonella too, and if I go to Disney World I’ll catch it when she flies over the park during her fireworks display. I was going to bring my seven children. That makes eight potential salmonella cases.

Please let me know, in writing, that it is safe to visit your park. Otherwise, I will be forced to take the family to somewhere less amusing, like Kansas. (I really can’t think of any other theme parks right now.)

Sincerely,

Kevin Dickinson

Disney Hopeful

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