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National Enquirer
P.O. Box 37087
Boone, IA 50037-0087
October 6, 2007
Dear National Enquirer,
Your readers have the news. But do they have the shoes?
They get the latest scoop. But are they in the fashion loop?
You’re all about gossip. And nothing really rhymes with that.
What I’m getting at here is my new invention, which is a type of footwear all of your readers should be wearing when they crack open a National Enquirer. What better way to catch up celeb dirt than with a pair of Toe-Bloids?
Toe-Bloids are stylish sneakers imprinted with National Enquirer headlines. Similar in concept to the “Gay Earring,” Toe-Bloids silently connect readers with one another.
Toe-Bloids will also be available in an open-toed version called Scandals. Sitting on the sand, soaking up the sun, and scanning the pages for your favorite Brangelina, Scandals make for an enhanced read.
In my Good Samaritanship I bestow these ideas upon your establishment. Go, run free with them!
Sincerely,

Kevin Dickinson |