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July 11, 2005
Walt Disney World Guest Communications
P.O. Box 10000
Dear Mr. Disney,
I recently visited your fine establishment while on a trip with my High School. The hotel was excellent (although the sink, toilet, and shower did not work after a small explosion in the water pipes). MGM was exceptional (although I was thrown from Aerosmith’s Rockin’ Roller Coaster when my harness flew open mid-corkscrew.) Also, my pretzel flew out of the open window on your Tower of Terror ride. I enjoyed eating your exotic Florida cuisine such as pretzels, hamburgers, and my personal favorite, (because we cannot get it in New Jersey), pizza. I must admit that the merchandise and food prices were very affordable. I do not believe that I have ever seen a small plastic Mickey figurine for only $24.99. I felt like I was robbing the store when I bought it, but this was the actual price! I even asked the clerk to make sure!
However I feel that restitution must be made because there was a sudden, yet very expected down-pour while I was in Blizzard Beach. When purchasing my ticket for Blizzard Beach, I was promised many “hot babes” by the slightly smelly employee behind the ticket counter. On a hot summer day, I am sure that this is the case. But because of the sudden down-pour, these so-called “babes” were nowhere in sight! I do not believe that there was a single shirt-less “babe” near the pool, the entire day. And I sat there watching for almost 8 and ˝ hours. I assume that this was your plan all along because while watching for babes, I consumed almost 27 whole pretzels. This cost me about $73.00. I did witness a few older “granny” types shuffling by, but I quickly turned away and tried to regain my composure. I am still unsure why they felt the need to expose themselves to me and my friends. This should be outlawed immediately.
I also went through a great deal of trouble getting into your restroom facilities. When coming out of your Rockin’ Roller Coaster, I got a Fast Pass for your bathroom. The time said 4:30 PM and it was only 11:00 AM! I was forced to walk around the entire day in need of a bathroom. Why should I wait for the rest room? It seemed to be empty. And why was the Fast Pass machine so far from the bathroom? It was all the way across the street at the Rockin’ Roller Coaster! This system must be worked out.
So to put it plainly, I would like my money back for that one day spent in Blizzard Beach. If I wanted to spend the day looking at regular people, I would have gone to school. It would be nice if I were paid for the cleaning bill from my soiled pants. I also expect to be paid back in full for my pretzel that was lost on Tower of Terror. If you could send me the recipe for those pretzels, it would be much appreciated. They’re darn good! I eagerly await your response.
Sincerely,
Zachary Eisen |
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