It shouldn't take you by surprise that everything these days has to have nutrition facts. After all, the FDA has nothing better to do with its time. About three months after this site was up, the government approached me in a dark alleyway and threatened to do bad things to my computer with a baseball bat if I didn't post nutrition information. Needless to say, I did as I was told, partly out of fear for my laptop's safety and partly because I am now wearing a metal anklet that tracks my every move. The suits weren't too happy when I tried to escape to Mexico, so they forced me to put up a laughter-related warning graphic as well.
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Nutrition Facts Serving Size: about 4 letters Servings Per Container: Approx. a lot |
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Amount Per Serving |
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Calories 6,250 |
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Calories from Fat 1 |
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% Daily Value* |
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Total Fat 480g |
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0.05% |
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910% |
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Cholesterol 9g |
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(7x)²% |
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Laughter 76g |
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83% |
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Sodium A lot |
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500% |
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Rubber 13g |
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7% |
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Total Carbohydrate 47g |
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9% |
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0% |
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Protein -6g |
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Radium 1g |
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Vitamin A 9% |
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Vitamin C 52,000% |
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Vitamin K 8% |
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Vitamin J 72% |
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Vitamin X ?% |
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Vitamin Z 9,214% |
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Calcium 0% |
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Iron 300% |
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Hot Air 924% |
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*Percent Daily values are based on something no one really cares about. Why don't you go read a magazine instead. |
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INGREDIENTS: HUMOR, CITRIC ACID, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS, SUCRALOSE, GLYCEROL, ASPARTAME, ASBESTOS, WOMBAT SPLEEN EXTRACT [ACTS AS AN EMULSIFIER], ARTIFICIAL COLORS [YELLOW 5, RED 40 LAKE, YELLOW 6, BLUE 1, MAHOGANY 17, FUSCHIA 4, BURNT SIENNA 7]. |
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